Bet Alef Meditative Synagogue - Rabbi Ted's Teachings

SAYING GOOD-BYE TO A YEAR

The Holy Days invite each of us to a holy ground, a space where there is special support for meeting again the deeper identity that yearns to be experienced through each of us, the deeper identity that yearns to be experienced through all of life. We are experiencing the process of saying goodbye to a year, not a particularly easy thing to do. Saying goodbye to a year doesn't mean forgetting what the year has been. Saying goodbye to a year doesn't mean denying the pain or the pleasure that that year has contained.

Saying goodbye to a year is letting go of the patterns that that year has supported that we might meet a new year clean, that we might meet a new year free to determine the patterns that will develop. As human beings there doesn't seem to be a way of living in this world without developing those patterns, those habits. It doesn't seem that most of us are able to remain awake all the time. But our tradition gives us this special time of year dedicated to letting go of what has been and supporting a radical awakening, supporting moments of choosing the ways we shall walk in the year about to be.

I suppose one lets go of a year by beginning to acknowledge what that year has been, by allowing ourselves not to hide from the highs and the lows, from the celebrations and from the embarrassments. I suppose one starts to let go by becoming aware and then one continues the process of letting go by saying Amen to that awareness.

Awareness of the positives—Amen. Awareness of the negatives—Amen to that, too.

To let go of the resistance, to let go of the clinging, and to trust that to the degree to which we release we become available for the wonders that the universe seeks to reveal to us. And we become available to the wonders that arise within ourselves.

So whatever thoughts emerge as we proceed through these days, whatever memories or reflections, whatever regrets, gratitudes, or judgments-let us simply acknowledge, allow the awareness, without trying to change anything. And say Amen.

I don't know what it is you would have find you in this new year. But I would urge you to consider opening your lives not only to the sweetness that it already contains but to that which you seek so that your blessing can support your becoming available for the greater fullness, the greater wholeness, the greater joy, the greater wisdom, the greater clarity, the greater love, you seek.

Imagine yourself receiving that which you have blessed. Imagine yourself becoming available so that which you seek in the universe can find its way to you.

THINNING THE HUSKS
Each individual has a responsibility for the piece of creation entrusted to them. The task in the journey that each of us is on is to become fully present to the moment. To become fully ourselves and to celebrate everyone else becoming fully himself and herself. In the Kabbalistic idiom, the sparks of self are hidden in husks of the material world—in husks of ego, of habit, of forgetting.

And so part of the process of reaching that state of being present is to begin to release those husks. The process we engage in over the Holy Days I see as a process of thinning that husk. The goal is that on Yom Kippur we become transparent—transparent to the universe, transparent to ourselves, transparent to each other. If we look at what it is that contributes most substantially to the husk that surrounds us, we discover liberal layers of guilt and self-recrimination, great dollops of righteous indignation, and great scoops of anger.

TO FORGIVE IS TO LET GO
What our tradition teaches is that it is the lack of forgiveness that keeps us stuck. Forgiveness is the key. Our minds think that if we forgive then we'll be letting somebody get away with something. But it is the lack of forgiveness that eats away at our own hearts. To forgive is not to forget, it's not to deny. To forgive is to let go.

The first stage of forgiveness is s'lach lanu—forgive us. S'licha is what we say if we bump into somebody on the street in Israel: Excuse me. Pardon me. I forgive you or forgive me. They are words we say to each other at times when we really intend that to be what we feel, and for that moment it's true. Then, when we least expect it, we discover that the anger is still there, the upset is still there and the resentment is still there, the guilt is still there. So though intending to forgive is a first step, it's not complete. It's a beginning. S'lach lanu is the beginning.

M'chal lanu is the next step. It points to a release, the release of needing the past to be anything different than it was. Forgiveness is not about denial. It's not about forgetting. Where there is pain in the past there is still pain. But with m'chal, with the release, there's no longer the pain of wishing it was other than it was. We're no longer attached to a different supposed to be, or a different should have been. And once that's released a great of the resentment and a great deal of the anger and guilt are released as well. But there's a third step.

The third step is kapaihr lanu, making atonement. It's the same word as the root of Yom Kippur. Making atonement is an act of redemption. It has to do with something we are able to provide in our world, something we're able to do for others because of what happened. Because of what we did or because of what was done to us, a greater sensitivity, a greater awareness has become available and that awareness translates into a tikkun, into a healing act, into a way of being healing in our world.

When pain transforms into acts of blessing than there is no longer anger. Then there is no longer resentment. Then there is no longer guilt. The heart is free, and we are free.

So we begin by seeking forgiveness. We continue with risking letting go of the need for things to be any different than they were. And then we seek ways of transformation, of sharing in the world that which we have learned through our experience. Imagine that we have leapt beyond the heart pains. Imagine that we have leapt on the other side of the need to be forgiven or the need to forgive. Imagine that we are available to fully bless.

We are engaged in a process of personal redemption, trusting that this process will be reflected in a process of global redemption. May we all utilize the holy time that meets us now to discover more deeply the One we are, to celebrate more deeply our way. May we find the courage to choose according to the integrity of each of our beings. May we this year walk the way of blessing, as we go from strength to Strength, from love to Love, and from life to Life.

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